Hash Trash 577

Bélus Weekend 2003

It was a f*cking hot day, and the trail was dry and sratched all over our legs. HalfCrazy was supposed to make competition to our beloved CockaPully (sniff, he's gone with Frogf*cker), but she cannot mess with the Cock.

OldBanger was slow, hmm, he was a walker (!!!); his excuse for not running was a bad leg. He was nearly grumpy because he did't run for 2 months because of his injure. Yeak, I noticed, he got a thiny belly. Front-funner, sorry runner was JustLeonhard, the fils of Kermit. Gosh, he's young and unspent, because he's not a regular hasher.

Consequently, the beer did not damage his mind & body, so far. Cum'Again stayed with his family, Ari & Benze; but I think it was to hot for him to run. Lazy b*stard. I didn't saw JustTara, hmm, she must have been a front runner too, as I walked behind the pack, comfortably with HalfCrazy and the injured OldBanger. But, I have to say that we waked on a shitty trail, actually, it was a horse trail!!! In my younger times it was a perfect ground to run there for a volleyball training, because that makes you jump if you have too. Yeah, a long time ago.

Finally, we saw the end of this horse-trail, reached the top of the hill, and we saw the sea. What a great view!! Hush, hush, we run down to the beach and followed SlackMac, Hairy Mary, AnalKondom, Kermit, JustLeonhard & Tara, who jumped into the Atlantic like kids. We were happy hashers. Tja, HalfCrazy & PinkBitch had to watch us, as they forgot to wear already their swim-suit.

We had our à la plage, and we made sure that we got much as possible sun and saltwater for covering out hot bodies. Ups, how was the BS marked? There were Slack's underpants and trainers. Oh yes, SlackMac tried hard to keep his underpants dry and not to piss in & drown them into the sea. But finally, he's really slack, he took a shower to clean this body from the salty sea, and, of course he forgot to take off this pants. There's noting else to add. Afterwards, we had a gentle walk to the parking space and longing for booze & bouffe.

What does we think of the run? - not enough heat & sand, not enough thorns...

DownDowns:
* Hares: SlackMac & Kermit
* Returnees: JustLeonhard, Kermit, OldBanger, JustTara, Ari & Benze
* Lalo, for wrong song
* OldBanger, for cheating as he dried to make others to drink for him
* OldBanger, no hash gear, and HairyMary & SlackMac for a crime (can't read it anymore)
* OldBanger, for being slow as usually he's a front runner
* PinkBitch, for pronunciation her hash name as "Pink Beach"
* PinkBitch, hat in the circle
* AnalKondom, for innovative swim suit: an inflatable short
* HalfCrazy, for learning that a swim suit is not a proper running gear; her bump went: droit, gauche, droit, gauche; it was a nice picture, when she went into sea with SlackMac
* OldBanger, for sitting Bull (?)
* AnalKondom, for showing us his sun cream technique for his dick (there are photos!!!)
* JustLeonhard, was NAMED into "le fils du bedouin" [ for dressing up like Laurence of Arabia ]

OnON
Lalo, Likes-A-Long-One.

Saturday dawned

Time to go to bed then.

An hour later, I emerged from the depths of my sleeping bag, blurry eyed and attacked the morning in much the same way as a mummified egyptian whos just overslept the last ten centuries.

I managed to steal the cup of coffee that someone else had made. mumbled something to blurry moving talking objects. It might have been "morning" but it was probably "mmmphgrrrpgh"

I stole someone elses coffee.

Things started to swim into focus. Or at least my eyes started to demist.

Time to lay the trail.

Cultured kindly "volunteered" to drive me to key locations of the trail whilst i liberally covered flour all over myself, his car, and as chance would have it, on the trail. I stumbled up to do the falsies, stumbled back, avoided ferocious pigs and dogs and chickens and a bemused local when I went through the centre of his farm. I, of course, blamed it on Kermit, and, throwing another bag of flour over my shoulder, legged it.

I got back to try to sleep. Ha. That'll be the irate farmer saying the trail has to go elsewhere. So I nicked Kermits 4x4 and went back to throw flour on a different set of trees, shrubs and flowers. Having done so, I got back to see everyone setting off onto todays trail.

OnOn.

Like a brave hasher... sorry... hare that I was, I let Kermit follow on foot whilst I got back into the car and drove to a strategic point to watch hashers negotiate the improvised second piste.

On On you lazy bastards

I walked back to the car and followed the hounds to the next checkpoint, and on to Kermits prelaid trail.

Like a brave, seasoned hasher that I am, I drove to the beer stop and had a beer.

Down in the valley, crys of OnOn were heard. followed by "Are You", "Looking" and "On On". They seemed to be having fun, I thought, as I helped myself to another beer. At times, I thought that they were close, only for the trail to lead them further away. Shame, I thought, that noone wanted the shortcut, as I guzzled some more amber liquid down my throat.

This carried on for hours, uprooting trees shrubs and flowers. Finally, thirstily, the pack crawled up out of the valley and found the beers. And beer was had, as is done in such situations.

Noone was deemed in need of an ambulance back to Kermits ranch, and so the hashers set off again, I loaded up the beer and drove back. As this is the official run report, I have to say I had a superb, refreshing shower and then grabbed another beer and sat down watching the pigs roast over the fire.

13 hours later the rest of the pack showed up. Hurrah!

Likes a Long One was RA for the day, and the circle seemed to be made of a round circular thing. I've looked at my notes and all it says is
 " Visitors... all of belus.... made to cum by Kermit ".
I think the trail was superb. I couldn't fault it. I think all the other hashers were whinging bastards :-) Pink Bitch was renamed to "Night Stripper" as she... erm... has a habit of waking up naked and not knowing why. Apparently.
In between making these notes, I poured beer. And it was good. If anyone else wants to add anything here, my mind really was blank by then. I remember eating too much pig (and it was good) and a glass of rioja wine or three, before I keeled over for the rest of the afternoon.

Zzzzzzz

[HairyMarv]

I felt more awake today. A reduced pack set off to Peyrehorade (how the hell do you pronounce that?) for a live trail by Kermit. We were grouped into the courtyard of a chateau/chapelle thing and told to stay there until Kermit blew his own trumpet. So we wandered around like the wierd tourists we were for.... ooooh....5 minutes, until the horn blew.

On Out.

But where?

No flour was seen at all, but the horn was blowing in that direction, so ignoring the marked trail up the hill (OK, we were all being sheep), the whole pack went down the hill in the direction of the paaaaarp. Thorns, Nettles, and the odd cow farm (and several shades of dubious smelling shiggy) the trail was found by the longest short cut ever.

But where was Luciano?

Luciaaaaaano?

It turns out he was front running with Fils de Bedouin. So dog found, pack (more or less) reunited we carried on through the valley. Another forest was found (more thorns, more brambles) and a big fuck off up hill check.

And Luciano was lost again.

I think the dog had more idea of where we were than we did. As it turns out, Luciano snared the hare. Kermit was found, the pack reunited as we decended into that famous british village of Hasting(ue)s. Not content with beating us in 1066, the french seemed to have stolen the village and brought it back to France. Still, you cant begrudge the french of their victory. Even if they did cheat.

The beer stop was unusual in as much as it was at a motorway service station.

Cars were found and reunited with their owners, and all but Anal Condom and Fils de Bedouin decided to drive back to the On Home.

They ran.

RA for the day : HairyMary
The trail was too flat, with too many cows, too much flour...

DownDowns....
Kermit the hare, Kermit for being caught on the live trail (downdown whilst his shorts were pulled down down - Misou remarked that at least he had his pants on today)
Luciano (Cultured and Gulletsby) and Fils de Bedouin for FRBing.
Fils de Bedoin and Anal for running back to the car.
Cultured and Gulletsby (on behalf of Luciano) for the crime of calling "On Luciano"
. Old Banger for not hashing the trail.
RA for the weather. etc etc

And of course, a very special down down to our hosts of the weekend, Kermit and Misou. On behalf of The Paris Hash, we would like to thank you for your hospitality and all the work put in by you in making this a successful weekend.

May the hash go in peace, may the hash get a piece.

OnOn
HairyMarv